How Can ObamaCare Affect You?

As of this writing, in three days, October 1st, 2013 all Americans are going to be subjected to a completely new Health Plan called “Obamacare.” How could this affect you? It’s hard to say, being that most of us got no information on exactly WHAT this is and HOW it will change our lives! As an individual who owns a small private practice, I buy my own insurance plan. However, I returned from a short vacation to see my plan will no longer be in effect or renewed as of Jan. 1, 2014. So the first thing I heard about Obamacare is not true, that of – “We can keep our current plan if we are happy with it.” So this now forces me to go to “the Healthy plan exchanges” and pick something that could be more costly and substandard, as well as open myself to government plans I do not desire. If I don’t buy one, then I will be taxed and penalized. A great article called, 50 Dangers from Obamacare posted by Patrick on July 5, 2010 on; listed the exact pages, sections, and lines of information in the plan that affect Americans; including those who own businesses, those of us in the medical field regarding healthcare rationing, costs of the plans, violations of individual rights, and much more.

For example, the plan will dictate the doctor’s payment and income that will reduce what doctor’s earn and lead to a great shortage of doctors as well as ration care. Also, all doctors will receive the same pay, regardless of specialty, which will hugely reduce the number of specialists that will be available. A section also allows the government to set the value of doctor’s time and professional judgment. If a client is re-admitted to a hospital, they could be subject to federal penalties. Treatment choices will be limited based upon the patient’s health and condition, resulting in the oldest, weakest and sickest patients being denied treatments because the statistics for success in their demographic is poor! This type of health care rationing will save money at the expense of our seniors to help buy insurance for the uninsured. Doctor’s offices will be required to provide translators at the expense of the tax payer. Cancer hospitals will have guidelines to ration the care of their patients. Also, eliminating HMO plans like mine, forces those of us with this current plan into a government run health plan. Patrick also explains that employees of the new Health Care Administration will have access to all personal financial records and accounts to impose a tax on those without insurance. The government will also have all your health care records and history including finances, along with giving you a National ID HealthCard that gives them direct access to your bank accounts to encourage you to pay any premium costs. I know the therapy clients I see within the FAA Tech Center, Coast Guard, and from both the state and county Police departments will not want their records exposed to government employers!

I am affected individually and as a therapist in small private practice. I want to protect my client’s records, and not be forced to take less income for more people. With three days left, not one of my insurance companies has contacted me with new rates or how to handle new procedures. If many of my clients lose their current insurance plan as I have, this will become a billing and charting nightmare for any doctor’s office, and almost impossible for the smaller, private office. What is a practitioner to do? Many Doctor’s are in the process of retiring, not wanting to deal with this massive reform, some have already become a totally self-pay center, and I, will be doing primarily Life & Relationship Coaching which eliminates insurance issues altogether. We have little choice. The health care companies are pushing Obamacare to pay their Doctor’s less, and charge people more by eliminating current plans.

Watching CNN to figure out what will be my fate in three days is nerve wracking to say the least – but seeing our Governors vie for public speaking points (such as speaking of Green Eggs & Ham!) is making a mockery out of the American people who feel we have no voice. Get informed, and call your Government Representatives to say “NO!” to Obamacare!

Posted in Life Coaching


With one week left of summer bliss, you can already sense the panic in people as they strive to enjoy every last second of summer fun. When I was out last night at my favorite casino deck dancing to the most popular band in our area, my friends all said with a depressive sigh, “Ah, summer is almost over.” Us “fun in the sun” folks live at the shore for a reason – our spirit comes alive by the sea which I refer to as “the temple of transformation.” We are energized by the extra Vitamin D of the sun, as romance fills the air as we stroll the boardwalk, beach or dance the night away. Come September 1st, we start counting the days until Memorial weekend and the return of the next summer season.

Relationships are extremely affected by the return of Fall. Couples and families are usually happiest with a sense of routine and the more shared leisurely recreational time of summer. Couples who took time for dating each other in the summer are now filled with their children’s sports schedules and tired, cranky moods as they return to school. Back to school time affects the entire family. Children are more irritable due to earlier wake-up times, so be sure to start the school wake up and bed-time schedule by August 20th.

Those of us that teach in the school (I was a SAC – Student Assistance Counselor for many years), see the kids struggle every day to form a new routine. Meeting new friends, the stress of trying out for sports and making the team, getting along with different teachers, and getting into “the popular crowd” which includes wearing the current fashion trends or dating the hottest girl/guy is their main concern. Trying to get them to focus on their schoolwork is a real challenge. Get routines established immediately with the help of the Allowance chart (for age 12+) and Star Chart (for kids under 12) as described in the Parenting chapter of my book, Live Beyond Your Dreams. Be sure not to overload them with too many activities (no more than two) or put pressure on them to be the best on the team. As a family therapist, I see way too many depressed, anxious teens that are cutting themselves or develop eating disorders who are over-stressed to become “the family star” for either college scholarships or parents bragging rights. Let them have fun, and regular time out with their friends; however teens over 15 should also have a part-time weekend job to start earning money to buy a car or save for college.

Another relationship changer is Seasonal Affect Disorder (SAD); also known as seasonal depression and affects many in our area once the night darkness comes earlier each day. Initially described by Norman E Rosenthal (1984) of the National Institute of Mental Health, SAD affects people who are normally mentally healthy and happy in the summer by experiencing intense moodiness, depression, lack of energy, and tiredness that comes in the fall or winter. This disorder affects only 1.4% in Florida and 9.7% in New Hampshire, according to Richard Friedman in his article, Brought on by Darkness, Disorder Needs Light (12/2007) in the New York Times. Take time for fun and to date on the weekends, walk under the sun and into nature, and take Vitamin D to improve mood. See a Life/Relationship Coach to inspire you to make the winter season one of inspiration, re-invention, and a time to look forward to for incredible personal and relationship transformation and growth.

Posted in Life Coaching

The Importance of Balance in Work Relationships

The Importance of Balance in Work Relationships.

Posted in Riana's Books

The Importance of Balance in Work Relationships

      Positive work relationships are essential to one’s daily happiness and sense of purpose. People spend 8-10 hours a day doing “their work” so if you are unhappy during this large part of the day, you can develop anxiety, depression, or anger and bring negativity to all your primary relationships. If you are the boss and your employees are unhappy your clients are sure to feel it. There should be a team effort between the corporation/owner, management and the employees. The below article is from my Book, “Live Beyond Your Dreams – from Fear and Doubt to Personal Power, Purpose and Success” which teaches the mindset necessary for optimum personal power and success.

Balance Triangle for the Business Owner

The three sides to keep balanced are The Corporation, the Employees, and Sales & Marketing. No matter what type of product or service you have, it must be marketed so someone will want to buy it. Whether it’s a hat, a piece of gum, or painting on a grain of rice (I bought three in Mexico!), a customer can be found.

With the grain of rice, the salesman had a book of designs from which I could pick to have on one side, with my name printed on the other. Then he had four choices of necklace vials into which the grain was put, which makes it expand so you can read it. I bought necklaces for my daughters and myself, in remembrance that everyone has a special talent; you just need to discover yours!

The Corporation/Organization is the owner, board of directors, upper management, and the decision-makers of the firm. They can either make or break an organization. They must share the same vision and work for the higher purpose of the firm. Unfortunately, when businesses get too big, money often becomes “the Higher Purpose” and soon the greediness is exactly what brings down a company. Those in the organization must be without ego, because they often make the mistake of looking down on “the little people” who are actually doing the hard labor and building the product. Without a happy staff, the executives in the organization don’t have a business to run.

The Employees/Staff are the meat of the firm, the creators of the product, or those who sell the service. It is because they are often mistreated, underpaid, and not recognized or appreciated that the firm crumbles. Everyone must work as a team to keep the firm in perfect balance. The executives in the organization must always ask for feedback and suggestions from the employees. They are the front line workers – the ones who know. They hold a lot of power, and it is the smart business owner who knows this and does whatever it takes to keep the balanced triangle paradigm always within his mind and business.



The TV show, Undercover Boss is a great example of a Boss wanting to be amongst his staff to appreciate their daily work and dedication they have to his company. It’s a wonderful example of trying to keep the Business Triangle in balance.

Marketing and Promotion of a product is essential to get it into the hand of the buyers. Marketing examines what makes the product or service unique so someone will want to buy it. Promotion and public relations involves face-to-face sales and education of your product. People will buy something if they see the value in it, it is convenient, it is different than its competitors, they like and respect the person promoting it, and they can come to believe that the product or service will work for them.

All three elements of the Corporate Relationship Triangle need to be in balance and in touch with the other to be successful. The business cannot prosper without a great production staff, a creative team that implements original marketing and promotions, or a caring and involved executive supervisor. Do everything possible to nurture this important relationship balance for a successful corporation and happy employees. If you see imbalance, stress or anger amongst workers, hire a Corporate Relationship Coach to inspire and motivate change!


Posted in Riana's Books

Live Each Day as if it Were Your Last


With the recent celebrations of the July 4th holiday, which afforded us all the time to relax and appreciate our families, soldiers, and the freedom of our country, I encourage you all to remember the powerful lesson — to live each day as if it were our last. Life is short! It is a tremendous gift, and every day of life we have been granted should be appreciated, and lived with love. Sure, we will have our tests, trials, and tribulations, but to live each day in misery when you have the Choice to Live with love and gratitude – must be examined. Just seeing my 2.5 month grandson Logan last weekend, my oldest daughter Stephana and her wonderful husband, Charles, made me feel so grateful. Grateful for how happy and successful they are, for my incredible daughter who has become such a wonderful mother, and grateful that I have lived this long to experience these precious days with them at the shore.

What price can you put on family love, freedom, self-esteem, personal happiness, and inner peace? These feelings are worth everything, and nothing material can come close to these types of experiences of happiness. How can you start to feel this blissful type of happiness?

Begin by simplifying your life and free yourself from clutter, negativity and unnecessary stress. Do what it takes to improve yourself in three areas – Mind, Body, and Spirit. To improve your mind, read books that motivate and inspire you to be your best individual self, partner, and parent by living a balanced life. My book, Live Beyond Your Dreams – from Fear and Doubt to Personal Power, Purpose and Success, teaches many techniques to live your life full of purpose to reach all your goals and dreams. There are many inspirational authors who write on various techniques to improve how you feel about yourself; so constantly fill your mind with positive growth material.

Meditate 15 minutes each morning, to help reduce blood pressure, anxiety, depression and cortisol levels (that keeps on weight). Learn to live “in the Now” so that you are making conscious choices in how you want your life to be lived each moment. Most people have 8/10 thoughts that are negative. You can create a mind-set that is 2/10; or eight positive thoughts out of every ten. It feels fabulous to live in this way. Get back to a faith-based belief system that will help you in times of crises and difficult transition.

For your body, exercise a bit every day for cardio benefits, and lift light weights for muscle tone 2-3 times a week. Eat primarily proteins, fresh vegetables (raw or steamed), fruits, nuts and any of the foods that “God provides.” This means, avoid all foods in a package – for optimum health.

Our soldiers, who fight for our freedom throughout the world, enable us to count our blessings, allowing us to live with gratitude each day. If you are suffering with an upsetting personal emotional situation, get help from a Counselor or Relationship Coach. Pray for strength and do what it takes to move forward in your own personal freedom from depression, negativity and anxiety. You have the gift to be able to choose love, respect and peace, for yourself and in all your relationships. Start today, and learn to live each day as it may be your last.



Posted in Life Coaching

HELP! This Relationship is Making Me Sick!

What is a Toxic Relationship?


 A “Toxic relationship” is a love relationship where your entire physical, emotional, and mental well-being is disturbed. This relationship can be defined through the experience of “walking on eggshells” or describing your partner as “Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde” – you never know who you’re going to get! Dr. Jekyll is charming, fun and outgoing to the community, and Mr. Hyde is the hidden, angry, destructive personality type you have to deal with behind closed doors. If you have intense fear, anxiety or depression when your partner drinks alcohol, ignores you, screams or lashes out in anger to control you, criticizes or blames you; then this is a toxic relationship.

Negative stress over time releases toxins throughout our bodies. When we are being abused, our bodies go into “fight or flight” mode. Eventually, the immune system wears down, making it difficult to fight colds, flu, and other diseases; often bringing imbedded viruses to the surface, or even create new ones – such as Epstein Barr Virus (Chronic Fatigue Syndrome).

Other physical ailments can include migraines, stomachaches, and extreme fatigue. You could suffer with symptoms of depression, anxiety, panic attacks, emotional withdrawal, and low self-esteem. These issues then affect your ability to perform intellectually, socially, and professionally.

Another form of conflicting relationships is one with a commitment-phobe. Initially very charming, romantic, and pleasing, the moment you get too connected, this person panics and either starts sabotaging the relationship with irrational fighting, destructive actions, or flees altogether. He soon resurfaces and begs for forgiveness using the cheap dramatics of tears, flowers, or other niceties to win you back. It is a vicious, toxic cycle. The emotionally healthy partner often becomes consumed by analyzing what she did wrong, how to improve herself or make her emotionally manipulative partner less angry.

Can this be fixed? My new book, LOVE Beyond your Dreams – Break Free of Toxic Relationships to Have the Love you Deserve, is due out late fall and goes into the toxic personality types and explains the behaviors that are red flags early on that you need to watch before getting too involved with someone. It later explains whether your relationship dynamic can be fixed, how to heal from toxic love, and finally, how to find an emotionally healthy, evolved partner. Creating an evolved relationship with your partner is covered in my current book, Live Beyond Your Dreamsfrom Fear and Doubt to Personal Power, Purpose and Success, now available at Barnes and Noble and on

Each person brings into a relationship his dynamics from the past; how his parents raised him, if he was a child of an addicted parent, or he was emotionally, verbally or physically abused or neglected/abandoned – they all play a part. The abusive partner must enter into psychotherapy to examine his past and what he must do to fix his dysfunctional habits. However, often the toxic partner refuses counseling because he doesn’t think he does anything wrong. This denial is extremely strong and can last throughout his life. He may enter counseling briefly just to “win the partner back” after an affair or other grave miss-justice. Rarely does the partner change his basic abusive tendencies, and the dysfunction is bound to cycle again.

The emotionally healthy partner has two choices – either enter into therapy herself to learn appropriate ways to deal with the abusive partner, or ideally, to become strong enough to move on to a new, healthier, more peaceful and loving relationship.

An ideal relationship is one where both partners have a full life of his own; one is not overly dependent on the other for his source of happiness. When you become codependent on another person, you want him to make you happy. Happiness and a sense of self-esteem can only come from within; when you develop and nurture your spiritual purpose for being here in this world, and you do some type of work to perpetuate that purpose.

It is important to be one another’s best friend to share our hopes and dreams, to celebrate our accomplishments, and discuss our fears during the tough times. But, you are NOT looking to him to solve your troubles, take away your challenges, control your decisions, tell you what you can or cannot do, or to rescue you from your daily unhappiness. That is YOUR responsibility, and if you need help from a Coach, get it.

The bottom line is, do not suffer in a Toxic Relationship! You Must Love Yourself More and break free from Toxic relationships to have the love you deserve!


Posted in Riana's Books

(link) EHT Counselor co-authors book with Celebrity Daughter – from The Current Newspapers of southern NJ

(link) EHT Counselor co-authors book with Celebrity Daughter – from The Current Newspapers of southern NJ.

Posted in Riana's Books
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