Within Tony Robbins audio/video presentation: Love & Passion: The Ultimate Relationship Program, Tony describes the six basic human needs to be happy in a relationship. He feels you can transform any relationship by using and understanding these techniques, especially if you understand which needs are most important to your partner. Couples tend to stay together when they know how to meet each other’s basic human needs, which are:
1) Certainty: the security that our partner loves us and has our best interests at heart.
2) Variety/Uncertainty: having variety in life keeps it exciting and playful.
3) Significance: your partner feels important, good enough, special, wanted and needed.
4) Love/Connection: everyone needs to feel they are loved and most do desire a true love connection to a special partner.
5) Growth: each partner has a need to continue to grow in the areas of emotion, spirituality, and intellect; and their partner should support these efforts.
6) Contribution: it is important for one to give to others beyond their own needs, and to feel they can make a difference in the world.
Tony goes on to explain that there are seven Master Skills of relationships that are essential to understand and practice on a daily basis. By understanding the needs and feelings of your partner and yourself, you can create a loving, extraordinary relationship. The skills are as follows:
1) Heartfelt understanding: Put your partner first by showing emotional empathy which allows for a connection that is really supportive.
2) Give your partner what they really need: It is important to give love instead of focusing on what you are not getting. You need to love your partner no matter what, and often show adoration and give praise.
3) Create and build trust and respect: Trust grows when your partner can count on you, when you are emotionally available, live authentically, and when you have positive intent with a true commitment to meeting your partner’s needs. You forgive easily and forget their errors.
4) Reclaim playfulness, presence and passion: Being present to your partner and showing affection daily, as well having an open heart to full emotional engagement without holding anything back.
5) Harness courage and embrace honesty: Holding back the communication of our needs leads to a lack of passion. It is essential that you break through your fears so you can be completely honest and vulnerable with your partner and tell them everything you feel at the time it is happening.
6) Uncover and create alignment: It is important that both partners continue to grow in a positive way as you develop higher meaning to life. You must appreciate the other and understand the power of gratitude and giving to others in need.
7) Live Consciously, be an example: Create a life that shows a good example to your partner, family, and the world.
It is highly suggested you acquire this program, read my forthcoming book, LOVE Beyond Your Dreams – Break Free of Toxic Relationships to Have the Love you Deserve, or hire a Relationship Coach to help continue to improve your relationship skills or to evoke a positive change in your relationship, especially during times of uncertainty, anger, stress, or life transition. Dysfunctional, toxic relationships can be changed! Relationship skills are not taught to us, we must take the time to learn them, and always be open to improving them to have a passionate relationship that lasts.
Riana Mine is a Marriage/Family Therapist at Therapy by the Sea, LLC; a Certified Relationship Coach, author, and motivational speaker in Egg Harbor Township, NJ. Her column, My Relationship Coach will discuss the relationship you have with yourself and others. Her free App: My Relationship Coach offers more articles and her book, Live Beyond Your Dreams – from Fear and Doubt to Personal Power, Purpose and Success, addresses relationships with yourself and others. To learn more or suggest a topic, go to www.RianaMilne.com or email RianaMilne@gmail.com. FB: Coach Riana Milne.