All relationships begin with “the Self.” Psychological research on Love and relationships prove that to have a happy relationship, you must love yourself first. This is not a narcissistic, selfish type of love, but a healthy regard and respect for one’s self and place in life. When you feel complete, happy and whole, balanced and are living your purpose in life, then you are ready to offer and receive a healthy, evolved partner. With an Inter-Personal relationship dynamic, the love relationship works when there are two “complete and evolved” successful individuals who then choose to blend their lives together.
So if you are single, and looking for love, what do you need to do to get your life together? As mentioned in my book, LIVE Beyond your Dreams – from Fear and Doubt to Personal Power, Purpose and Success, it is important you evaluate all of your life spheres to appraise your holistic personal, mental and physical health and well-being. This includes body weight, health and fitness, a sense of spiritual faith, sound finances without debt, happiness and joy within your career, success as a loving parent with accomplished children, and having an overall balance in life. The balance triangles mentioned in my book include – an equal time of work, play, and relationship. As a Singles Coach, I work with adults of all ages to reach their personal potential within their life spheres. When these life spheres are fulfilled, this is the perfect time to look for a life partner. Or, you may choose to take some time to challenge yourself with a new personal, business or creative pursuit.
If you start to feel anxious, bored or exhausted within your career, for example, it is your internal being telling you it is time to take on a new challenge and push your limits. This could include getting a higher degree, a specialized certification, or apply for a better paying position. I just passed the Florida State licensing exam over the weekend, a grueling 4-hour test with a 50% Fail rate. This accomplishment broadens my options to be a therapist in Florida, upon my retirement, should I choose to be there. Having a Plan B in your career, is always a great idea in today’s unsettled economy. New accomplishments also lead to an increased sense of personal power, respect and confidence as you continue to reach your highest potential. While you take on these heavy challenges, you may need more personal time to stay focused and complete the task. If you are single, it is a perfect time to do this. However, if you have a partner in your life, you must clearly ask for their support while you feel the need to reach a new particular, personal goal.
Goal setting – daily, weekly, monthly, and 6-months to two years goals, keep you personally growing and living your life with purpose, leading to success in all your life spheres. Your goals and accomplishments will set an excellent example to your children, about living a purpose-filled life. If you have a family, as you grow individually, always remember the balance triangle of – Self, Children, and Partner. When the balance triangles become askew, you will feel stress and exhaustion, and it is time to rebalance. Remember to schedule fun into your life – for yourself, you and your partner, and for you and your children. These memories with your spouse and children will never be forgotten, and cherished over many years. Invest the time, it’s worth it!
Make a decision to “Just do it.” Go with blind faith, go for it, and dare to dream! Challenge yourself to grow into your best self yet. As Joel Osteen, Pastor of the Lakewood Church in Houston says, “Radical beliefs, brings radical blessings. Believe bigger and go beyond your barriers.” Use your gifts, and challenge yourself to learn and create new ones. We are given one life, what are you waiting for?