The Ideal Partner for Me! ©
From: My Relationship Coach App; Riana Milne
MUST HAVES: (character traits, qualities, values, activities, education & looks)
Would Prefer she/he Have: Deal Breakers & Red Flags:
1 – 1- Any addiction – drugs/alcohol/gambling/sex
2- 2- Physically/emotionally/verbally abusive!
3- 3- A chronic cheater/cheated w/you; Move on!
4- 4- Any mental health issues/depressed
5- 5- They are a chronic liar – can’t trust them
6- 6- They are married or separated-not available
7- 7- They are a control freak, selfish or impulsive
8- 8- They are mean-spirited, angry, or moody
Red Flags: Any character disorders, addictions, or neuroses; any behavior that negatively affects and hurts YOUR health, self-esteem, work, or primary relationships (family/kids)
Your Concerns & Red Flags: List your Concerns here and discuss them with Coach Riana
How to Use the Checklist:
1) Section one: “Must Have’s” – You must now exactly what you are looking for in a partner, so you can find it! Brainstorm lots of options for the “ideal mate.” Then pick the top 12 for the “Must Haves.” Be sure to choose top qualities and values; for example, honesty, integrity, love and closeness with family, etc. These are internal characteristics that are essential to make a great relationship last far into the future.
2) The second section, “Would Prefer he/she Have”- is about preferences – but items that are still really important for you and for life-long compatibility; like – He loves to partner dance and travel world-wide; she hopes to retire in Florida (because you want to be there) or She loves dogs (because you have two of them) etc. So these can be common interests, activities, or about his/her appearance. But as you can see, if these things were not present, over the long term, you would feel incompatible and feel you made a bad choice in a partner.
3) Part 3 – Deal Breakers and Red Flag Warning Signs – VERY important to be honest with yourself. Look at this list and make sure none of these exist. These traits or actions are the very core of Toxic Relationships. Learn more about those in the Articles section on the My Relationship Coach APP – Toxic Relationships. There could be more listed here, so jot down any other concerns; like she/he’s been unemployed for 2 years, or she/he has a large amount of debt. Don’t make the mistake of falling in love with one’s potential. Examine your new mate as for what they are TODAY.
4) List your Red Flags and concerns. Then bring this list to your first coaching appointment to discuss with Riana.
It is hard to find someone that is a 100% match. You are aiming for about 85%, but know the real important factors that you cannot compromise on. I had a person that loved to dance, and married a woman who did not, and for 20 years he suffered in a bad, stale relationship, resenting the fact he did not have dance and music in his life. Now in his 50’s he will ONLY date women who love music and dance as much as he does. That is a “Must Have” for him to be happy.
Take your time with the list, as this is your new roadmap for meeting your Ideal Partner!
Good Luck, and Don’t Compromise!