Critical Signs of a Troubled Marriage ©

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       There are some definite signs that your marriage may be over. One major mistake made from either partner can shake up the whole balance, leading to divorce. Financial trouble or job loss, sudden illness, over-demanding children, lack of time, and daily stress all can erode a quality, loving relationship. Below are some other signs that many partners may not recognize as a warning sign:

1)       Minimal Intimacy: From daily hugs and kisses hello and goodbye, to handholding while out; these little signs of affection keep a relationship together. A partner that sleeps on the edge of the bed, rarely talks to you in the middle of the day, who is distant or starts sleeping in the other room “for rest” are all danger signs they are drastically pulling away from you and the marriage. No sex for weeks or months is a sure sign of disaster.

2)      There is little to no communication about anything. There should always been something to share about your day with your partner. If all you discuss is the to-do list for your kids, this is a problem. Start getting out of the house for at least one date a week, and plan some things to say. This is a time to flirt and romance your partner. Make them feel important. You can start the connection and communication this way, but be sure to carry it throughout the work-week.

3)      You Feel Alone, or feel you have “Lost Yourself”: You may feel you are doing all the work to keep the relationship together, from making the majority of the income, running the home, planning the vacations, and being responsible for the kids. If your husband is rarely home or checks out to TV once he does get home, you will feel unappreciated and lonely. You must communicate your feelings and get relationship help if this is the case.

4)      You think of ending the marriage. Or, you start seeking attention outside of the marriage through the computer, Facebook, with coworkers or with old friends. Long-term marital unhappiness without change will erode the marriage completely. Do something about this – and do not have an affair. Approach your partner and tell him the marriage is in trouble and you would like to fix it.

5)      You want out. Your partner has become abusive, toxic, addicted or absent. You have had enough of feeling “not good enough” and sacrificing yourself to please your partner. You have probably been unhappy for a long time. Tell him in a calm way you may seek divorce. If he wants to try to save the marriage, go to a coach or counselor, but be honest with your coach as to how much you want the marriage. Usually, one person of this couple is already “out the door”.

6)      You are the last one to know a secret or your spouse’s feelings. He tells everyone exciting news except you. He is the life of the party when out, and mute at home. Or, you discovered an addiction that he has hid to the world. All destructive, toxic behaviors and usually cause the end of a marriage.

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Riana Milne is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Certified Relationship Coach in her private practice, Therapy by the Sea,LLC. For more than 30 years, Riana has coached thousands to personal and professional success with the Watch Me! mind-set and its promise of helping us achieve our dreams and beyond. She is the author of: Live Beyond Your Dreams, From Fear and Doubt to Personal Power, Purpose and Success, and offers the free App: My Relationship Coach. www.RianaMilne.com

Posted in App Articles - My Relationship Coach

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